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Out Into the Snow
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Simon Joyner
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1
I've been living in a room where the rafters shook
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Where the trains pass through the moonlight
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Dusts rain down, cover my books
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Even the bricks crumble to the floor in a landslide
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Remember the caller from a pay phone somewhere
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In the heart, broken, drunk
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Muffled voices and shattered glasses
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Toasted all the heads that were not yet hung
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Yours was getting low
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So I stepped out into the snow
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Cut through the car wash across the street
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Where a man cleaned the salt from his tires
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Passed through the grocery store parking lot
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Where open hands bummed nickels for fires
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They sang "have you anything to keep a belly warm"
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On the coldest night of the year
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I gave my change to a bucket of steam
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Said he had to get the hell out of here
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Before he froze
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And I stepped out into the snow
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Found you flickering by lightbulbs
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Your new shadows swayed in the concrete
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Said baby it's true
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You get cold so you look for heat
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Everywhere I've been is empty and thin
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And swallowed by the bay
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Standing too low
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And I stepped out into the snow
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Verse from the Bible, memorized in childhood
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Fell from your tongue to the car keys
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Asked me if it mattered, everything had a pattern
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You can't stand far enough back to see it
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I helped you to bed, then I washed my face
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Covered my hands over your kitchen sink
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Then I cracked the window and let some pressure escape
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Just in time to hear a siren scream
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You'd better go
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And I stepped into the snow
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Shed my clothes and killed the lights
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And laid in my bed staring at the rooftop
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This is as quiet as the city gets
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Shooting neon all over our cracked windshields
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I don't remember what happened next
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I'm afraid it took me by surprise
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The night rolled in, it felt dark and then
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I guess I closed my eyes
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Just that note
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And I stepped out into the snow
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Dreamed I was a school of fish
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I dreamed I was a mother nursing a child
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Dreamed I was the long black train
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Rattling through the countryside
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Dreamed I was reborn in a tornado closet
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In the mason jar's cobweb
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Took some time to find my way out of the basement
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The climb was slow
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And I stepped back out into the snow
Cold Outside Your Window, Mama
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