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Dancin' And Pantsin'
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Adam Sandler
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1
When I was a young man
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I didn't like to dance
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I was shy
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I'd stand against the wall all night
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I'd never take a chance
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So afraid
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I wouldn't get on that dance floor
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Unless I was really drunk
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10 shots
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But I found a place where the stars hang out
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And they taught me how to funk
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Real nasty
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It ain't too far away
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It's just on the edge of town
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Nearby
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But be ready when you get there
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'Cause these folks don't fuck around
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You can
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Rub your belly with Liza Minelli
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Covered in jelly, you're gonna rub your belly
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Jiggle your droopy balls with singin' Lou Rawis
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Bounce off the walls, then jiggle them droopy balls
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Grind your hips with the blond guy from CHIPS
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Lick your lips
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Stroke it clean with Martin Sheen
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It's fucking obscense
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Clench your ass-cheeks tight with sexy grandma Betty White
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You'll see the light when your sphincter's tight
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If you don't know how to move
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Just feel the groove
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And dance
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Like you just shit your pants
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Spin like a little girl
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With cross-dressing Milton Berle
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Just give it a whirl, pretend you're a little girl
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Wave that juicy weeno with legendary Al Pacino
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Wave your weeno, even more obsceno
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Knock back a drink with Colonel Klink
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Piss in the sink
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Bounce your beef with Omar Sharif
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What a relief
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Ring the disco bell with ice cream wizard Tommy Carvel
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Tommy Carvel gonna make your dink swell
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Then spew all over the room
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With Mr. Jeffry Goldblum
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And dance
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Like you just shit your pants
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Mr. Belvedere
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Fatty Fatty
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Finger in his own rear
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Bernard King
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Basketball, basketball
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Showing off his ding-a-ling
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Swimming Mark Spitz
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Moustache, moustache
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Playing with his hairy tits
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Big Earl Weaver, Tommy Seaver
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Both of them got the boogie fever
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Shit your pants
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You can
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Do the fucking hustle, jerking your love muscle
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Shake your big, round ass with the ghost of Mama Cass
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Blast from the past, the ghost of Mama Cass
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Dry-hump the floor with Mary Tyler-Moore
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Pump it sore
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Squeeze your nipple like baldy Mr. Whipple
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Drink some Ripple
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Give it a hearty whack with TV great Victor Tayback
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When you give it a whack, don't hurt the nut-sack
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So if the thought of grooving is bringing you down
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Come to the funkiest place in town
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The stars will show you how to move
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And dance
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Like you just shit your pants
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