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Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
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Sweeney Todd
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1
Ladies and gentlemen
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May I have your attention please?
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Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
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To discover your pillow is covered with hair
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What ought not to be there?
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Well, ladies and gentlemen
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From now on you can waken with ease
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You need never again have a worry or care
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I will show you a miracle marvelous rare
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Gentlemen, you are about to see something
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What rose from the dead on the top of my head
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Scarcely a month ago, gentlemen
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I was suddenly struck with a rare oriental disease
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Though the finest physicians in London were called
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I awakened one morning amazed and appalled
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To discover with dread that my head was as bald
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As a novice's knees I was dying of shame
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Till a gentleman came, an illustrious barber, Pirelli by name
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He gave me a liquid as precious as gold
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I rubbed it in daily like what I was told
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And behold, less than thirty days old
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'Twas Pirelli's Miracle elixir
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That's what did the trick, sir
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True, sir, true, was it quick, sir?
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Did it in a tick, sir
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Just like an elixir ought to do
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How about a bottle, mister?
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Only costs a penny, guaranteed
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Penny buys a bottle, I don't know
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You don't need, ah, let's go
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Go ahead and tug, sir
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Go ahead, sir, harder
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Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?
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You can have my oath, sir
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'Tis unique, rub a minute
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Stimulatin', in'it?
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Soon you'll have to thin it
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Once a week
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Gently dab it, gets to be a habit
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Soon there'll be enough, sir
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Somebody can grab it
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See that chap with hair like Shelley's?
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You can tell 'e's used Pirelli's
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Let me have a bottle
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Make that two
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Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stink?
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Smells to me like piss and looks like ink
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Buy Pirelli's Miracle elixir
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Anything what's slick, sir
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Soon sprouts curls, try Pirelli's
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When they see how thick, sir
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You can have your pick, sir, of the girls
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See Pirelli's Miracle elixir
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Grow a little wick, sir
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Then some fuzz, the Pirelli's
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Soon'll make it thick, sir
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Like a good elixir always does
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Trust Pirelli's
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If your hair is sick, sir
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Fix it in a nick, sir
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Don't look grim
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Just Pirelli's miracle elixir
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That'll do the trick, sir
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What about the money?
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If you've got a kick, sir
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What about the money?
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Where is this Pirelli?
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Go and get Pirelli
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Tell it to the mixer
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Of the miracle elixir
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If you've got a kick, sir
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What about our money?
73
Where is this Pirelli?
Sweeney Todd | Shave Contest Scene (John...
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