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Whittlin' Man
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Stephen Lynch
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In the woods of Northern Michigan he made his home
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Didn't ask much from the world, just wanted to be alone
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And got his first real blade at thirteen thats when it all began
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and soon the creatures of the forest called him whittlin' man
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yeah
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he whittled all day and he whittled all night
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he whittled whittled whittled everything in sight
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he whittled on a stick
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he whittled on his shoe
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and if you come too close he'll whittle you too
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keep a safe distance if you can
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cause you're never safe around whittlin' man
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had a stump to sit on
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had some wood, had his trusty knife
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whittled out a house, a car
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and he whittled himself a wife (such a beautiful wife)
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whittled out four kids, a swimming pool and a big leer jet
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and so he wouldn't miss saved by the bell, well he whittled a T.V. set
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yeah
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he whittled if its light, and he whittled if its dark
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and if no one was around well he'd whittle in the nark
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he'd whittle something new and he'd whittle something old
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he'd whittle some hot and he'd whittle some rather chilly
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keep a safe distance if you can
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because you're never safe around whittlin' man
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break it down
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some say whittlin' man's a genius, still others say he's just dumb
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he whittled off a foot an ear, three fingers and his left thumb
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boy is he dumb
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that won't stop him, no it won't
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he'll whittle through thick and thin
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once he's whittled everything, he'll just whittle it all again
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yeah
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he whittled if it was white, and he whittled if its black
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and he whittled on a duck til the duck can't quack
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he whittled if it was dry and he whittled if its juicy
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whittled on Desi and he whittled on Lucy
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whittled JFK and he whittled Jackie O
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whittled old Larry and Curly and Moe
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and he whittled Frank Zappa and he whittled Tipper Gore
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whittle whittle whittle til he can't no more
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whittled Shamu and he whittled on Jaws
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whittled The Easter Bunny and he whittled Santa Claus
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and whittle whittle whittle just fast he can
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whittle till he's dead, he's whittlin' man
Stephen Lynch - Special Ed
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