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Laughing Gnome
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David Bowie
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1
was walking down the High Street
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When I heard footsteps behind me
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And there was a little old man (Hello)
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In scarlet and grey, shuffling away (laughter)
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Well he trotted back to my house
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And he sat beside the telly (Oaah..)
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With his tiny hands on his tummy
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Chuckling away, laughing all day (laughter)
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Oh, I ought to report you to the Gnome office
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(Gnome Office)
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Yes
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(Hahahahaha)
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CHORUS
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Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
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"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
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Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
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"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
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Said the laughing Gnome
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Well I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine (Burp, pardon)
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Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
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Carried his bag and gave him a fag
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(Haven't you got a light boy?)
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"Here, where do you come from?"
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(Gnome-man's land, hahihihi)
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"Oh, really?"
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In the morning when I woke up
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He was sitting on the edge of my bed
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With his brother whose name was Fred
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He'd bought him along to sing me a song
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Right, let's hear it
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Here, what's that clicking noise?
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(That's Fred, he's a "metrognome", haha)
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Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
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"I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"
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Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
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"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
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(Own up, I'm a gnome, ain't I right, haha)
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"Haven't you got an 'ome to go to?"
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(No, we're gnomads)
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"Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school?
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you look like a rolling gnome."
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(No, not at the London School of Ecognomics)
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Now they're staying up the chimney
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And we're living on caviar and honey (hooray!)
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Cause they're earning me lots of money
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Writing comedy prose for radio shows
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It's the-er (what?)
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It's the Gnome service of course
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Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
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"I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"
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Ha ha ha, oh, dear me
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(Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
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"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
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Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
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"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me")
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(One more time, yeah)
David Bowie - The Laughing Gnome
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