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Super Mario Bros. Rap
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1
It's 1986 I'm in the first grade
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I'm workin really hard to get Mario laid
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I gotta save the Princess so he can get the pussy
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Believe me, Mario would get that ass so f**k Luigi
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Mario really wants to get her in bed
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So bad that he's bustin up bricks with his head
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He just wants sex, so forget the wedding bells
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Jumpin on little mushroom men and turtle shells
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Droppin down green pipes and secret passage ways
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Makin his move to the end where the final castle lays
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Eat a magic mushroom grow a little higher
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Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire
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All these creatures that attack him
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Cut Mario slack
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Oh sh*t hold on I'll be right back
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I'm gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer
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It's gotta be hard to get laid if you're a plumber
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That's why I'm gonna work extra hard for my man
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And get him to the end so he can stop using his hand
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Mario doesn't wanna get hit he'll shrink
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Princess won't f**k a little kid, I think
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So stay grown and attend to your own
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And eventually the Princess will attend to your bone
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(Speak hook 2X)
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Save the Princess quick
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Because she wants a dick
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And if you let her free
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You get the pussy
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Bowser's trying to get head right now from the Princess
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But if it's up to me that sh*t'll stop this instance
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Cloud people throwin little spike animals
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Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals
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I heard nobody yet runnin the Princess's oven
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And Mario always says "Virgins, I love em'" (*from the movie "Kids"*)
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I hate the Koopa Troopas so I'm gonna run up
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And jump on the back of their shells till I get one-up
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I'm gonna keep playin and I'm never gonna quit
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Cause some kid in school told me you could see the Princess tits
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I wanna beat it before any of my friends do
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So I can say I put pussy upon Mario's menu
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At the end of each level I jump and get the flag
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And say to myself another castle in the bag
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I hope Bowser's ready cause he's in for a ride
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And Mario's serious when it comes to homicide
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The Princess is a freak even though she has class
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Mario will take a plunger and put it in her ass
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I hate the cannons that shoot at you constantly
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And I hate platforms that fall out from below me
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It's all worth while just to see Mario smile
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Standin next to the Princess buck-naked profile
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That's why it's my crusade to get Mario laid
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Super Mario Brothers best game ever made
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(Speak hook 2X)
Gru Calls Super Mario Bros.
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