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When You're Dead
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Aurelio Voltaire
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1
The other day i took a walk because the air was sweet
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Then i passed the crusty house of a curmudgeon on my street
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Now every town's got one and i'm sure you'll understand
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When i tell this ol' bastard was a mean and bitter man
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Now on this day it was special i was wearing my new hat
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The ol' curmudgeon saw this and he disapproved of that
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He said "I had one just like it for ten years, ya ripped me off!
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You got no right to wear a hat like mine so take it off!"
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Now as it happens i'm a gentleman so i approached his porch
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I told him "Great minds think alike and you have one of course
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So how about i just tip my hat to you when i come through?"
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He reached down for his gun and said "I'll shoot you if you do!"
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Then i said "No one's gonna cry at your funeral
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No one's gonna drink at your wake
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No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye
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Cause no one's gonna miss you when you're dead"
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The next day i forgot this whole damn mess and went to town
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And there i saw a hundred or so posters all around
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And on them was my face and i was wearing my new hat
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And they read "This guy ripped me off! I got one just like that!"
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I took a walk down to his house to see if i could find
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A way to show him that we're kindred spirits of the mind
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I said "I didn't make these hats. Nor did you of course!
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And hey! we both love Johnny cash!" he said "GET OFF MY PORCH!"
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Then i said "No one's gonna cry at your funeral
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No one's gonna drink at your wake
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No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye
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Cause no one's gonna miss you when you're dead"
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When you look back on your life what will you see?
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Did you spend your time mending fences or planting mines?
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There's no shortage of potential enemies
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So dont waste so mush time pushing away your kind
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Now you may think i'm stupid or just crazy from the heat
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When i went down to the house of that curmudgeon on my street
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Maybe it was foolish to go to his house again
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Just to show this drunk and crazy fool he had a friend
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When i got there, much to my surprise, he wasn't there
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He was gone as was his shotgun and his rocking chair
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I asked the neighbor lady who was laying on her lawn
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"What happened to that mean ol' man?" she shrugged and that was all!
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Then i said "No one's gonna cry at your funeral
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No one's gonna drink at your wake
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No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye
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Cause no one's gonna miss you
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Hell, No one's gonna notice
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And i'll enjoy the silence
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When you're dead"
Aurelio Voltaire - When You're Dead OFFI...
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