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The Boss and the Secretary
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Adam Sandler
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Louise?
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Yes, sir?
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I want ya in here right now!
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I'll be right in.
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Damn straight you'll be right in
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What do you need, sir?
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What do I need? You know what I need
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Uh, no I don't, sir
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I want you to come on over here, fish my xxxx out of these
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trousers, and xxxx on it for a while!
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Sir, I don't think I can do something like that!
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Oh, you can and you will, bitch! Kneel down, now!
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What if someone comes in?
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You think I give a flying xxxx about that shit? You get over
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here and you start suckin it! Well, alright...
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Yeah! Yeah, that's it! Reach in there! Reach in there and get
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yourself some candy
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Okay...
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Okay, a little lower, though...
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Umm... alright...
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Little... little lower...
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Yeah?
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No, to the left!
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Left?
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Damn, bitch, do I gotta do everything? Pull down my pants!
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O.. Okay...
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Now the tighty whities, pull that xxxx down too
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Mmmm....
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Watch out now, here it comes! Boing! Now what you think of that?
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What do I think of what?
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This! My ding-a-ling! Come on, play with the xxxx a little
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Uh, okay...
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Lower, baby! Gettin warmer...
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Okay...
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Let me pull the fatty rolls apart, spring that xxxx out for ya
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Yeah, that would help
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Whoop, there it is!
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Haha... What the xxxx is that?
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Play with the shit
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Okay...
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That's right, jack it up and down
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Well...
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Up and down!
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Well, it's hard to grab onto!
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Keep tryin, you thick fingered bitch! Use your pinkies!
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Oh, okay... I'll try that
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Yeah, now we got it goin on...
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Yeah?
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Let me xxxx those pinkies...
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Okay...
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Yeah...
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Okay...
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Keep pressure on the sides of it, baby, keep it sprung! Yeah!
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Tell me how much you love it
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Ooh, I love it
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Tell me it makes you horny
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Ooh, I'm gettin real horny
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Tell me it's bigger than a Tic Tac
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But it isn't!
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I don't give a xxxx if it is or isn't! Say it is!
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Alright! Your dick is bigger than a Tic Tac!
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Damn right, Tic Tac, cashew, thumbtack, half a grape, it's
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bigger than all that shit!
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All that xxxx put together!
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Now don't get crazy on me, bitch, let's keep this xxxx semi-real
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Aw, I like a man who shaves down here!
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I don't shave that shit, bitch! I'm still waitin on them weeds to
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bust out and grow and what not!
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What? You mean you haven't reached puberty?
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I guess the only way to get you to shutup is to throw a dick in your mouth!
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Okay...
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Well, then xxxx on that shit!
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Uh, okay... Mmmm... yeah, I'm suckin... suckin away here
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That's a pimple, you dumb twat!
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Ugg...
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Move your mouth lower!
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Mmmmm
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Oh, oh yeah, now you're on it! You're on it!
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I'm on it?
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That's it!
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Okay!
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Oh, that feels nice!
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Okay!
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Oh, hell yeah!
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Yeah, there you go!
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Oh, oh, shit, xxxxx ow!!
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What's wrong?
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It's caught between your teeth! Get it out! Get it out!
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I'm sorry, sir!
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Don't be flossin with that shit, you gap-toothed bitch! Be careful!
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Look, maybe I should just lick it then, okay?
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Do somethin!
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Im gonna lick it! Cause I love to lick that thing, okay?
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Yeah...
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Yeah, baby...
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Yeah!
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Yeah, you like that, baby?
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Oh, yeah!
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Whoah, whoah, whoah!!! Somethin just spewed all over my face!
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That was the pimple again!
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Oh, uh uh...
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Let me reiterate. Down. Lower. Bitch!
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Okay, you fat fuck!
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What's that?
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I'm just playin with ya, haha...
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Oh, you better be playin! Oh yeah, that's it, now you're on it!
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I'm on it?
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Oh, oh smoke that roast, bitch...
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Okay...
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Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah, slow down, not so fast!
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Oh, okay
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I got xxxx I wanna do to you, woman!
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Oh boy...
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Time to pull your dress off... You're gonna get fucked!
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I don't know, sir, I mean... is that... is that really possible?
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Don't give me no lip, bitch! You want me to smack you in the
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face with this shit?
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Hahahahaha
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"Hahaha" you laughin now? Get the xxxxxx dress off!
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Well, alright, but you have to promise me you're gonna use a condom
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You know I can't wear that shit!
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I do, I'm just playin! Hahahaha
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Condom! You've been watchin too many of those XXX movies,
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seein that fake dick xxxx those actors have hangin off their real dicks
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Those aint fake dicks, those are real big dicks!
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Bitch, I suppose you think Star Wars is real, too! That they
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really got space ships and Chewbaki and all that shit! Stupid,
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colorful bitch! Hahahaha!
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Alright, my panties are off... You gonna try to xxxx me now, or what?
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Try? I'm gonna xxxx your eyes crossed, you apathetic bitch!
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Wham, wham, wham! How you like me now, bitch, how you like me now?
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Is it seriously in?
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In? You gotta stop xxxxxx all them rhinos and blue whales! Not
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only is it in, but the shit's about to blow! Ooooh! Mmmm...
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Hope you're on the pill, bitch, cause I blew that wad all up in ya
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I.. I got it, it's right on the end of this hair, here
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Shit, yeah, clean yourself up, bitch. There's a beach towel in
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my bathroom
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I'll just use this Q-tip
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Whatever, just do it and get the xxxx back to work!
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Okay, BB Dick!
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What's that?
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I'm just playin! Bye!
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Shit, what a life I've got... It's good to be Mr. Peter Bodd... Damn good
Adam Sandler's Song: 50 Years – SNL50
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