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A Cold, Cold Christmas
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Stephen Colbert
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1
I want a cold, cold Christmas
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I hope it's 20 below
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Let a winter's storm bury all that's warm
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In a bone-chilling blanket of snow
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Thought you would love me forever
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Turns out you wanted to part
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Now I want a cold, cold Christmas
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To go with your cold, cold heart
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Oh, I want a cold, cold Christmas
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One that's bitter and barren and bleak
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Where the weather's fowl, and the West wind's howl
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And the sun doesn't shine for a week
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You hung up my heart like a stocking
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Then went and stuffed it with coal
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Now I want a cold, cold Christmas
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To gnaw at the depths of your soul
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I'll be alone this Christmas
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You'd think it would cut like a knife
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But I'm numb inside, 'cause a part of me's died
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From the frostbite you've spread on my life
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[Spoken]
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Darlin', Christmas with you,
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I used to love it so.
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We used to trade presents,
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And kiss beneath the mistletoe.
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I said I loved you, and...
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You said you loved me too.
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...Remember?
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I said I loved you,
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And you said you loved me too?
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Those days are over now, but
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I still want you to know
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Even though I'm not the one you'll be kissing beneath that mistletoe,
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I'll be thinking of you every minute on this day of love and cheer,
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And every minute of every other day of the year.
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I'm serious.
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[Sung]
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So cold that it pierces your body
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So cold that it hurts every breath
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In fact, I wouldn't mind if you woke up to find
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Your new man had frozen to death
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So go have a cold, cold Christmas
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A blustery landscape of pain
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Though I'm warm in my skin, I'm still snowed in
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By the blizzard that fell in my brain
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Only a week until New Year
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That's when I'll make a new start
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But first comes a cold, cold Christmas
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To go with your cold, cold heart
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Your frozen...
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Nasty...
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Heart...!
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