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Here's Your Sign - Bill Engvall
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I just hate stupid people.
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They should have to wear signs that just say I'm stupid.
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That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you?
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You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops,
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never mind"
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"I didn't see your sign."
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It's like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California our house
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was full
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of boxes and there was a u-Haul truck in our driveway.
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My friend comes over and says, "Hey, You moving?"
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"Nope."
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"We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week. Just to see how many
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boxes it takes."
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"Here's your sign."
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Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
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We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
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modern man.
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So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
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Here's your sign. Here's your sign.
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A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
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his boat
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into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass this idiot on
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the dock
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goes, "Hey, yall catch all them fish?"
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Nope.
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"Talked 'em into giving up."
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"Here's your sign."
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I was out in the front yard with my boy the other day and he was
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playing with his little friend, and he hit his friend and I went up to
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him
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and I said "Hey, (smacks his boy), we don't hit." He looked up at me
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like, "Here's your sign, dad."
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Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
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We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
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modern man.
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So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
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Here's your sign. Here's your sign.
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I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel, there
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was a guy
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inventing a shark bite suit. There's only one way to test that.
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"Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want
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you to jump
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into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite
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you."
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"Well allright....hold my sign, I don't wanna loose it"
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Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
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We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
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modern man.
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So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
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Here's your sign. Here's your sign.
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Last time I was home I was driving around I had a flat tire, I pulled my
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truck into one
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of these side-of-the-road gas statioons, the attendant walks out, looks
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at my truck,
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looks at me, I swear to GOD he went, "Tire go flat?"
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I couldn't resist.
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I said "Nope".
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"No I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on
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me."
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"Here's your sign."
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Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
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We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
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modern man.
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So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
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People with them little bitty teenie weenie tiny monds...
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Here's your sign.
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We were trying to sell our car about a year ago, a guy come over to the
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house, drove the
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car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out
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of the car, reaches down
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and grabs the exhaust pipe, then goes, "Damn thats hot!"
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See...
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If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him
The "I Believe Song"
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