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Totally Committed
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Jeff Foxworthy
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Rule number one, if she ain't happy
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You ain't happy
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And if she ain't happy long enough
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You're gonna be unhappy with half your stuff
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Early on in our marriage
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When we'd be in the same room for a half hour
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And she wouldn't say a word to me
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I would make the mistake of looking at her and go, "What's wrong?"
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Hoping it was something other than me
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Now I have learned
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If we're in the same room for a half hour
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And she doesn't say a word to me, it's me
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Now I just go up to her and go, "Baby I realize I have done or said Something stupid and insensitive and while I don't yet know
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What it is, I would like a chance to go up to my room
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And think about it for a little while"
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This game's been played for centuries
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Ever since Adam fell for Eve
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The sooner you'll learn, the better off you'll be
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Just like me, totally committed
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I've learned early on in our relationship
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That women are complicated creatures
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Once I had accepted that
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It made a lot of things easier for me
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But I have found that
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Because women are complicated
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They like to think men are complicated too
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You ever hear a group of women talking to each other
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"Ooo, I wish I knew, what he was really thinking"
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Ladies I will tell you, what we're really thinking
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We're really thinking, I'd like a beer and I'd like to see something naked
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That's all we're thinking
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You go to a nursing home and see a ninety year old man
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Going down the hall on a walker
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That's what he's thinking
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I'd like a beer and I'd like to see something naked
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This game's been played for centuries
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Ooh, not that, not that, not that
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The sooner you'll learn, the better off you'll be
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Just like me, totally committed
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And I do believe women understand men
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Better than men understand women, don't you?
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Think about that, how often do you see a man stomp out of a room
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Crying and have a woman goin', "What, what'd I say? Come back"
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And I do think men would take advice about relationships
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But we're not gonna sit down and read magazines about it
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You got to feed it to us in a way we're we'd accept it
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Sneak it into the play by play of a baseball game
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And there's strike three Greg Maddux really looking good today
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Speaking of looking good fellas from time to time
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You woman needs to be reminded that she's still looking good to you
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Hey baby, have I told you lately, you are as pretty as Greg Maddux?
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This game's been played for centuries
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Ever since Adam fell for Eve
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The sooner you'll learn, the better off you'll be
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Just like me
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I keep telling you I'm totally committed
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Now repeat after me, totally committed
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Now baby what I meant to say is
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When you're naked you are prettier than Greg Maddux
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You really are
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I'm going up to my room
Ron White, Jeff Foxworthy & Bill Engvall...
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