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Expert Chef
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1
Girl
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I saw you had...
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I saw you had a bunch of Lean Cuisine wrappers in the trashcan
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Don't you know that's no good
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You deserve something finer
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You need fresh fruits, vegetables, some candies
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That's why I'm here for you, all you have to do is call
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I'll come over and prepare something nutritious
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That's what you need.
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Make you a trail mix with full size Kit Kats
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Do it real quick, show me where the bowl is at
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Add some peanuts and mix 'em with some raisins
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Put some M&M's in and top it with some Craisins
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I'm the Expert Chef
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I'm the Expert Chef
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Scrub a tub of cream cheese on a wheat pita
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Make a Frito pie and spell your name out in Velveeta
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I can decorate a cake
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I can decorate a cupcake
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or a tray of cupcakes
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I'm the Expert Chef
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I'm the Expert Chef
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Little roll of Saran Wrap, I don't need very much... Saran Wrap.
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I'm an expert
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I'm an expert
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I heard you wanted a hotdog
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I don't cook hotdogs
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But if I did I would sous-vide 'em
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Put 'em on a plate and hold 'em out so you could see 'em
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and flush 'em down the crapper like an Oscar Mayer BM
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I'm the Expert Chef
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I can make a little Snicker bar salad
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All you need is Snicker bars, and a little talent
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Pair it with a piece of Chicken Pat탩
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And tell the sommelier to speak Fran탧ais
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I'm the Expert Chef
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I'm the Expert Chef
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Come on baby
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Let's go...
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Let's go clear out the freezer
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You don't have to live like that no more
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Eatin' Smart Ones
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Havin' some ol' fake turkey gravy on some ol' fake potatoes
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I'll cook you real poatoes
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I'll cook you sweet potatoes
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I'll cook African potatoes
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I'll cook French potatoes
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I can scallop or squeeze them
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You know you don't...
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You don't have to have Hot Pockets no more, let's just...
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Let's get the trashcan and just throw it all out
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That's right.
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We're living a different life now.
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It's gonna be beautiful.
CRUDBUMP: Fuck You If You Don't Like Chr...
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