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The Do Wop
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LL Cool J
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1
L.L. Cool J
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Serving em well
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And as you all know
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I am hard as hell
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Woke up at 9:30 on a Saturday morn'
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Hemmed my remote control, turned my stereo on
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Then I reached for a brush since I don't use the picks
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And the floor was kinda cold, so I put on my kicks
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Walked to the kitchen and ate some cornflakes
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As I bop to a tape of Cut Creator's breaks
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With hardcore, heavyweight, B-boy blast
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Connoisseur of hardcore, and Cut Creator's fast
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Jumped in the shower, it was boiling hot
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So I stayed there a hour, cause I like it a lot
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Jumped out, dried off, put on the Denim cologne
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Then I called up Earl on the telephone
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He told me 'bout a jam that I could do later on
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10 G's plus a limo for one strong song
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So I said, yeah, I was with it, hung up and got geared
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Got a magnifying glass, then I brushed my beard
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Rewound some tapes of some Def Jam tunes
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As I waited for this freak to ring my bell at noon
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12 o'clock came, left the door crack
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The freak walked in, a mink on her back
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Put her curt on the rack, threw my sex robe on
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Then I threw in a tape of the quiet storm
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We drank Round-hill Cavern, ate soft mignons
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She said, "L.L., when you're gonna let me taste your tongue?"
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My skin got pale, I wam-bammed the tail
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Did it so hard I should of went to jail
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She left, Earl came over and we went outside
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Jumped in the BM to bust a joyride
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Went up to A.J., in my fresh black wheel
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I'm not a sucker on the corner trying to scrape up a meal
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The girlies want sex, the fellas try to plex
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But those who flex end up with broke necks
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Signed some autographs for a posse of freaks
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Said, "It's L, baby, I ain't down with Chic"
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Conversated with the skeezers for 10 minutes more
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Then I jumped in my ride and the freaks slammed the door
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Due cause I'm a gangster people think I do crimes
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They don't know I'm just a connoisseur of hip-hop rhymes
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Some smile, try to call L.L. a hoodlum at times
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But he don't know my autograph's on his wife's behind
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L.L. has iced all the washed up slobs
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Vigilante of rap, so to hell with the mob
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Don't run from the cops, making suckers jock
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And I'm only 18 making more than your pops
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Tormentor of toys and boyscout boys
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And I dare any critic to call it noise
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Peeped at the clock, it said 6:03
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Said 'later' to Creator and broke out with E
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Went up to White Castle for a chocolate shake
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Thinking 'bout a 100'000 that I'd soon make
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Finished up the snack, jumped up, out my seat
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E-Love hit the table and he made up a beat
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Kicked a few lines, stepped out the door
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Since tonight is a bore I'm in the mood for more
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We jumped in my ride, I took a peek at the time
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It was almost 7:30 and the show was at nine
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L.L. Cool J will soon stand at a jam
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With thousands of people screaming, "Touch my hand!"
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But since I had a hour plus a half for tat
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I was searching for the cutie who's my perfect match
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Her name was Renee, her face was okay
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But she had the kinda body that made Jay want to play
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I said, "No need to rehearse," then I made my approach
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Said, "You got a good team, girl, but you need a new coach"
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Said, "My name's L.L. Cool, if I may introduce
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But I'm not here for conversation, I'm here to seduce
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Want to mix it up, baby, want to feel you grind
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Cause it ain't 5th grade, and these ain't nursery rhymes
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And I know that you adore my sure side hardcore
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Check out the real L.L. behind closed doors
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So tell your buddies you're busy, tell your boyfriend beat it
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Forget the silk dress,cause you ain't gonna need it
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Unplug your clock, do away with the light
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After five minutes or more you hear me say, 'That's right!'
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Your body is bad and I heard you got a Caddy
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When we make love you can call me daddy
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I'm L.L. Cool J, say hey, Renee
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I'm not a toyboy, but I still want to play
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Promise you I'm not wack when I'm in the sack
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After that I leave you starving for me to come back
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But in the meantime, put your digits down
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And the next time I see ya I'm going to town"
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Stepped away from the freak, it was a quarter to nine
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When I rolled to the jam I saw the crew on line
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Took a trip around the side, so I could get backstage
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If you call me a tiger, then the stage is my cage
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I rip, stomp and crush, heavy metal bands rust
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Them flaky knuckleheads I crumble up like crust
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Walked in my dressing room, and then I heard four knocks
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They said, "L.L., you're running late and it is time to rock"
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Told Cut Creator what the order would be
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Then I said "Lord have mercy" and slapped hands with E
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Went onstage, I heard the girlies scream
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And that's the very moment I woke up from the dream
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Ah!
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