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The Do Wop
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L.L. Cool J
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The Do Wop
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LL Cool J - servin' 'em well
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and as you all know, I am hard as hell...
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Woke up at 9:30 on a Saturday morn,
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hit my remote control, turn my stereo on,
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then I reached for a brush since I don't use the picks,
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and the floor was kinda cold so I put on my kicks...
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Went to the kitchen and ate some Corn Flakes
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as I bopped to a tape a Kut Kreator's breaks
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wit hardcore, heavyweight B-Boy blast,
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Connoiseur of hardcore, and Kut Kreator's fast...
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Jumped in the shower it was boiling hot,
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so I stayed there a hour cuz I like it a lot
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Jumped out, dried off, put on the Devon cologne,
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then I called up Earl on the telephone...
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He said there was a jam that we could do later on
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Ten G's plus a limo for one strong song
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so I said yeah I was wit it, hung up and got geared,
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got a magnifyin' glass then I brushed my beard,
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Re-wound some tapes of some Def Jam tunes
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as I waited for this freak to ring the bell at noon....
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12 o'clock came, left the door cracked,
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the freak walked in, a mink on her back,
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put her coat on the rack, threw my sessmo(?) on
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then I threw in a tape of the Quiet Storm, we drank
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Round Hill Cabernet Sauvignon, she said L.L.
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when you gonna let me taste your tongue...
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Her skin got pale, I wham-bammed the tail,
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did it so hard I shoulda went ta jail...
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She left, Earl came over and we went outside,
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jumped in the B.M. ta bust a joyride..
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Went up to AJ in my fresh black wheels
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I'm not a sucka on a corner tryin' ta scrape up a meal...
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The girlies want sex, da fellas try ta plex,
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but those who flex end up wit broke necks...
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Signed some autographs for a posse a freaks -
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said "It's L baby, I ain't down wit Sheik"
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Conversated wit da skeezers for ten minutes more
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then I jumped in my ride and the freaks slammed the door...
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Just cuz I'm a gangsta people think I do crimes
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they don't know I'm just a connoisseur of hip hop rhymes -
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stop smilin', you try to call LL a hoodlum at times
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but he don't know my autograph's on his wife's behind
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LL has iced all the washed up slobs
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vigilante of rap, so the hell wit The Mob
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Don't run from the cops, makin' suckas drop
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and I'm only eighteen makin' mo than yo pops
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Tormentor of toys and Boy Scout boys
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and I dare any critic to call it noize...
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Peeked at the clock it said 6:03,
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said later to Kreator and broke out wit E..
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Went up ta White Castle for a chocolate shake
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thinkin' bout a hundred thousand that I'd soon make
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Finished up the snack, jumped up out my seat,
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E-love hit the table and he made up a beat...
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Kicked a few rhymes, stepped out the door
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Said "tonight is a bore, I'm in the mood for more!"
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We jumped in my ride, I took a peek at the time
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It was almost 7:30 and the show was at 9
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LL Cool J would soon stand at a jam
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with thousands of people screamin' "Touch my hand!"
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But since I had a hour plus a half attached
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I was searchin' for the cutie who's my perfect match...
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Her name was Renee, her face was OK
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but she had the kind a body that made J wanna play
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I said no need to rehearse, then I made my approach,
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said you got a good team, girl but ya need a new coach,
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Said my name's LL Cool if I may introduce
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but I'm not here for conversation, I'm here ta seduce
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Wanna mix it up baby, wanna feel ya grind
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cause it ain't fifth grade, and these ain't nursery rhymes
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Now I know that you adore the connoisseur of hardcore(?)
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check out the real LL behind closed doors
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Tell your buddies you're busy, tell your boyfriend beat it
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put up the silk dress cuz ya ain't gonna need it
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Unplug your clock, do away with the light,
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after five minutes or more ya here me say "That's right!"
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Your body is bad, I heard you got a Caddy,
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When we make love you can call me Daddy
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I'm LL Cool J, say hey Renee,
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I'm not a toy boy, but I still wanna play
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Promise you I'm not wack when I'm in the sack,
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after that I'll leave ya starvin' for me to come back
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But in the meantime, what ya did just now,
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the next time I see ya, I'm goin' ta town
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Stepped away from da freak, it was a quarter to 9
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When I rode to the jam I saw the crew on line
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Took a trip around the side so I could get backstage
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If you call me a tiger then the stage is my cage
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I rip, stomp and crush, heavy metal bands rust,
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Those flaky knuckleheads I crumble up like crust
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Walked in the dressin' room and then I heard four knocks
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they said LL your runnin' late, and it's time ta rock!
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Told Kut Kreator what the order would be
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then I said "Lord have mercy" an slapped hands wit E,
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Went on stage, I heard the girlies scream,
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and at that very moment I woke up from a dream, RRRRAH!
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