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Big Cockroach
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Kip Addotta
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1
Every morning in the kitchen, you can see him scurry
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With those six fat legs, he could move in a hurry
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Living on garbage, hiding in the wall
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Breathing sprays and poisons and surviving at all
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Lemme tell you about a roach
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Big cockroach
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With a female roach, his only thoughts to seduce her
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He's an insect Cassanova, a prolific producer
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He's got a shiny back that is harder than granite
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Huh, he's just about indestructible... Dammit!
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He's a roach
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Big cockroach
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He was standing at the corner of Under and Sink
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All mean and unshaven, he was looking for a drink
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He had a dent in his neck from a month ago
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When the maid caught him napping and stomped him on the flo'
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Once I threw a party, he showed up real drunk
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Leaned across my wet bar and called me a punk
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Well, I took his remark rather tongue and cheek
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But, just to be safe I made his next drink weak
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He was mean
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Big cockroack
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After everybody left, we sat down on the rug
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We were talking it out, kind'a... Kind'a of man to bug
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He said "This country was built on persistance like mine
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I'll survive. Just relax. Everything will be fine."
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Big roach
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Big cockroach
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Now, we get along fine, at least so far
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In fact, my only complaint is that he borrows my car
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"You can't fight evolution. Not and win." he swears
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Seems my only solution was to keep him downstairs
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Well, I didn't want him in my room. Listen, I slept in a room with roaches before
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But... I never had one hop in bed and throw one leg over me
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When they start to cuddle, that's when I draw the line
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Well, it's been a while since that went down
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He moved out. People said he left town
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Then... via the vine, I heard he moved to Manilla
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They say to marry a chick, by the name of Bugzilla
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Big roach
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Big cockroach
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A year went by and I got a visit from his son
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He was bigger than a Buick, he weighed over a ton
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So... Now I live downstairs. Well, what could I do?
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The only other choice was to have him move in with you
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And he was big
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Big cockroach
cockroach sound
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