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The Big Noise From Winnetka [From Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)]
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Bing Crosby
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1
This is the story of a young girl
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Who was the hippest chick in town.
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They call her Big Noise from Winettka.
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Miss Birdie's sure to get around.
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Big Noise flew in from Winnetka,
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Stole each fellow's heart and then
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Big Noise flew in from Winnetka,
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Big Noise flew right out again.
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Stop! Look! Listen! Here comes the Big Noise!
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Stop! Look! Listen! Here comes the Big Noise!
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I am the one they call the Big Noise.
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I'm looking fine and feeling sharp.
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I just flew in from Winnetka, don't you know?
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I'm gonna blow this joint apart!
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I got my high heels! I don't need no wheels!
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My footwork is an art!
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You know the joint is jumpin',
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My heart is pumpin',
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And this is just the start!
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Whoa! I was a big noise from Winnetka,
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I'll be a big noise in your heart!
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Whooooa!
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Tempting when she's walkin',
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Tempting when she's talkin'!
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Listen to her squakin'!
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There she goes 'round again,
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Up and then down again,
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In and then out, ooooh, bop!
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"Hi! Welcome to another foul evening with the Divine Miss M!
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"After many a summer dies the swan,"
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But not when their stuck in a turkey as big as this one!
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Watch us as we scratch and claw out hour
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Upon the stage in yet another feeble-minded attempt
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To turn chicken shit in to chicken salad.
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Make no mistake about it, eggs will be laid tonight!
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Ain't that right girls? Oh, my girls.
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My three favorite schochkies on the breakfront of life.
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I'll never forget the first time I found these girls,
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Selling their papayas on 42nd Street. So flushed, so filthy.
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The astonishing verbal abuse they heaped upon me made me certain
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We were destined to share the stage someday.
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Not only are my girls fine singers and dancers,
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Not only are they gorgeous and talented,
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But they also think I'm god!
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Ain't that right, girls?
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They function as a greek chorus.
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These girls don't know shit about Euripides,
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But they know plenty about Trojans.
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Ladies and gentlemen, a rousing hand for the semi-classical
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Harlettes! Laides!
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Alright girls, sing 'em your siren song, go ahead.
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Turn them men into pigs. Not the band, you idiots.
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Those, that bunch right over there in the front row.
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Not much of a challenge, huh?
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This group is already well on its way to oink oink land.
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Oops, so sorry. Once again behaving in a manner I had sworn to aschew.
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Thank you. Once again falling into the vat of vulgarity.
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Oh tut tut. I did so want to leave my sordid past behind and emerge
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Form this project beathed in a new and ennobling light.
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I wanted to come out and be the sweet, pure, honest,
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Unadorned person that I really really am.
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I wanted to show you the good beneath the gaudy,
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The saint beneath all this paint, the sweet, pure,
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Winsome little soul that lurks beneath this lurid exterior.
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But fortunately, just as I was about to rush down the path
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To repectability and righteousness,
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A wee small voice called out to me in the night
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And reminded me of the motto by which I've always tried to live my life:
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F$CK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!"
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[From the soundtrack:] "Hi! "After many a summer dies the swan,"
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But not when she's stuck in a turkey the size of this one!
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Make no mistake about it folks, eggs will be laid tonight!
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Ain't that right girls? Oh, my girls.
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My three favorite schochkies on the breakfront of life.
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I'll never forget the first time I found these girls,
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Peddling their papayas on 42nd Street.
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Not only are my girls fine singers and dancers,
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Not only are they gorgeous and talented,
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But they also think I'm god!"
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I am the one they call the bi-I-I-I-g noise!
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I am a living work of art!
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I just flew in from Winnetka, daddy-o!
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I'm gonna blow this joint apart!
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Everyone has a bit of big noise in his heart.
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Everyone loves a little sin.
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Well, I'm gonna be the first girl in the line
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When the festivities begin!
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I was a scandle, too hot to handle!
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They said, "You'd best depart!"
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Oh! Exit Big Noise from Winnetka.
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Enter
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Enter! Enter!
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Big Noise in his heart!
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