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Corduroy Blues
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Adam Sandler
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1
When I was a boy
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There was no limit on what I could eat
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Shake after shake after shake after shake
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Followed by all kinds of red meat
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Metabolism runnin' around so fast
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My body never gained no weight
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That pissed off all my Momma's friends
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And made my big-boned sister irate
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But now I'm a man
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And all that food frolicking has caused my ego to hurt
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'Cause even when I'm in the shower alone
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I'm too embarrassed to remove my shirt
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What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
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What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
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And all them cookies I been munching lately
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My feets are becoming difficult to see
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I believe it was my Daddy
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Who led to this eating disease
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By calling me "The Little Candy-ass"
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When I couldn't finish a burger with cheese
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Or maybe it was my Momma
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Who got me addicted to the wrong foods
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Only when I gobbled down every chicken cutlet
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Would I get to see Momma's good moods
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They said eat this, they said eat that
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To stay skinny there was no chance
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And now when I walk I hear corduroy
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Even though I ain't wearing pants
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What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
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(You fat fuck, you fat fuck)
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What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
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(You fat fuck, you fat fuck)
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And all that ice cream I been eatin' lately
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My chins alone weigh 203
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The diet starts tomorrow!
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I have a grapefruit for breakfast
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For lunch a bowl of white rice
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Dinnertime it's a saltless potato
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I ain't allowed no spice
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If this diet's gonna work
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Tonight I can't eat no more
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"Just go to sleep," I say to myself
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As I close the bedroom door
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Two in the morning, I wake up to piss
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My belly's hungry and achin'
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Tiptoe to the kitchen, fuck the diet
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Bring on the chips flavored with bacon
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What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
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What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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Make a tub o' shit outta me
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And all them crumb-cakes I been eating lately
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I shoulda bought stock in Sara Lee
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