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The Piano Has Been Drinking Not Me
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Tom Waits
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1
The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep
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And the combo went back to New York, the jukebox has to take a leak
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And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break
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And the telephone's out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make
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And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking...
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And the menus are all freezing, and the light man's blind in one eye
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And he can't see out of the other
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And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid, and he showed up with his mother
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And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
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As the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler cream-puff casper milktoast
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And the owner is a mental midget with the I.Q. of a fence post
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'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking...
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And you can't find your waitress with a Geiger counter
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And she hates you and your friends and you just can't get served without her
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And the box-office is drooling, and the bar stools are on fire
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And the newspapers were fooling, and the ash-trays have retired
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'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
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The piano has been drinking, not me, not me, not me, not me, not me
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