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The Worst Pies In London
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Sweeney Todd
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1
A customer!?
2
Wait! Where's your rush? Where's your hurry?
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You gave me such a fright,
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I thought you was a ghost,
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Have a minute, can't you sit! Sit you down, sit!
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All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer in weeks,
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Did you come in for a pie sir?
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Do forgive me if me head's a little vague.
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-What was that?
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But you'd think we had the plague,
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By the way the people keep avoiding,
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-No you don't,
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Heaven knows I try sir,
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But there's no one even comes in to inhale,
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Right you was, would you like a drop of ale?
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Mind you I can hardly blame them,
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These are probably the worst pies in London...
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I know why nobody cares to take them
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I should know, I make 'em,
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But good? no..
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The worst pies in London...
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Even that's polite,
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The worst pies in London,
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If you dare to take a bite......
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Is that just disgusting?
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You'll have to concede it,
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It's nothing but crusting,
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Here drink this, you'll need it,
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The worst pies in London,
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And no wonder with the price of meat,
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What it is, when you get it,
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Never thought I'd live to see the day,
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Men'd think it was a treat finding poor animals what are dying in the street,
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Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop,
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Does her business but I noticed something weird,
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Lately all her neighbours cats have disappeared,
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Have to hand it to her, what I calls enterprise, poppin' pussys into pies,
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Wouldn't do in my shop,
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Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick,
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And I'm tellin' you them pussy cats is quick,
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No denying times is hard sir,
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Even harder then the worst pies in London,
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Only lard and nothing more,
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Is that just revolting?
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All greasy and gritty,
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It looks like it's molting,
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And tastes like...
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Well pity a woman alone, with limited wind and the worst pies in London,
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Ah sir,
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Times is hard,
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Times is hard.
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