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Nasa, Alabama And Fishin' Shows
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Jeff Foxworthy
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We've been goin everywhere in this tour, I mean not just big cities, we're goin everywhere.
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We were in Huntsville, Alabama A couple a months ago and uh, You know even
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growin up in the south I never realized the NASA space camp was in Huntsville, Alabama.
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Cuz that's just two words that dont seem like they belong together, NASA and Alabama.
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Cuz they might be trainin' 'em there, they're not lettin people from Alabama fly this stuff.
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"HEY HOUSTON, IT'S DARK AS CRAP UP HERE! Waitaminnit I did it wrong, Break one-nine!
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Look, we got problems, Ed's dun busted out the capsule winda' tryin to hit a
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satelite with a beer bottle! And we need to know how to unstop the toilet, the
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boys ate all the freeze-dried chili and they're tore up somethin bad!"
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And you know the thing is, southerners are as smart as anybody else in this country,
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our only problem is we just cant keep the most ignorant amongst us off the television.
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That's the truth. I mean, every time we have a disaster, they never film a doctor or a lawyer,
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they always get that woman in the moo-moo and the sponge rollers. "It was
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pandelerium! I thought we'd be killed or even worse. I looked out the window in time to see
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the chicken's house go right over our roof! All I could think was Caroline still has my casserole
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dish!"
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And I love 'em, but you know those fishin' shows arent helpin' our image any
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either. There is somethin about a fishin show, if yer channelsurfing and ya come to one
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it will hypnotize you. Cuz ya always end up watchin it for a few minutes and it's the same
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thing every week. "Hey there friends, We're fishin on ol' lake Witchahatchee and Today
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We're fishin with our old buddy Jerry Reed. Course lotuvya might remember
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Ol' Jerry caught the biggest bass ever caught on our show, and like all our guests,
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Ol' Jerry let 'im go. We had ta whack 'is ass with a boat paddle, but ol' Jerry let 'im go.
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Well, today they're not bitin too good, That's why Jerry and I were gonna try some
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of these deep-runnin lures and We're gonna spray 'em with some of this P-U-Stink bait.
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Whoooo, hoo-hoo-hooooo, well that's one product that lives up to it's name right there.
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Jerry, smell my finger, tell me that dont stink. I tell ya one thing friends,
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you spray that on your lure you can scratch fish off the grocery list And hey, another thing,
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remember conservation is everybody's responsibility, so when yer out on the lake drinkin
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beer, dont just fling yer cans out the boat, fill 'em up with water, make sure they sink to the
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bottom."
Words from the Redneck Dictionary
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