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Dogging
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Fascinating Aida
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1
My husband came home friday with a brand new motor car.
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He told me I could drive, it I said Brian you're a star.
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We drove down to the boozer for a vodka and a fag then of course we had celebrate the purchase with a shag.
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We go dogging,
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We go dogging,
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We're a treat for any passers by out jogging.
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We do it 'cos we've found that when people crowd around it is somehow more profound when we're dogging.
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(Spoken)
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Oh now well some of the older members of the audience my have a little bit of difficulty with this one.
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I just say hang on in there and think the meaning will shine through.
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Bill how are you doing.
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Anyhow if you are still a little bit in the dark at the end.
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Just ask a young person or emm...Google.
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Just don't take your computer for repair immediately afterwards.
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(Sung)
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Well we drove down to the far end of the car park back of Asda.
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A threesome was hard at it in a sporty little Mazda.
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It made it more exciting as they pressed against the glass.
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And when Brian got his torch out you could see right up her arse!
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They were dogging,
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They were dogging,
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Believe me they were more than merely snogging.
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But though her cheek were parted she spoilt it when she farted and we wanted to get started on OUR dogging.
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(Spoken)
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Now how are the older members doing now.
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Not finding it too impenetrable?
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Those of a sensitive disposition, leave now...
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(Sung)
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Well we rushed back too our car 'cos we were randy as two goats.
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But being late november we had on our duffle coats.
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We should have stripped off first before getting back inside.
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'cos disrobing in a smart car isn't easy have YOU tried?
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We were dogging
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We were dogging
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In the struggle poor old Brian tore his frogging.
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Our Apparel was misguided 'cos when our heads collided Brian's manhood then subsided, but thats dogging.
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Well I admit this was a setback but i wasn't beaten yet. 'cos i'm really very handy with my man's beef bayonet.
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I quickly had his flagpole up responding to my touch.
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And next thing I was upside down and staring at the clutch.
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We were dogging,
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We were dogging,
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Oh the heat was on to stop the windows fogging.
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Thank god for plastic sheeting well one must protect the seating.
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'Cos the fabric takes a beating when your dogging.
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Well by now a crowd had gathered it was cheering fit to burst.
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An Brian was close to peaking though he likes me to come first.
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My legs were out the sunroof as I really hit my stride.
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Then Brian promptly stopped and cried "The Rozzers are outside!".
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We were dogging,
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We were dogging,
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We were so alarmed our arteries were clogging.
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But we took it on chin when the coppers with a grin said:
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"Can anyone join in with your dogging?
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Well as you can imagine Brian and I were thrilled to bits.
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I love to feel a coppers truncheon in between my tits.
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My ecstasy was mounting I was feeling so alive,
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When who should wander by but a bloke from channel 5.
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He likes dogging
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HE likes dogging
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He signed us for a series he was flogging.
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So watch out for Brian and me and the odd Celebrity,
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We were shagging on TV likely dogging.
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Oh we'll be dogging
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We'll be dogging
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Oh think of all the limelight we'll be hogging,
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Well the credits show my hand massaging Brian's gland,
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The Presenter's Russell Brand, lovely dogging!
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