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Sunday Driver
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1
Well I've been a Sunday driver noo for many's a happy year
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And I've never had my Morris Minor oot o' second gear
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I can drive at fifty miles an hoor on motorway or track
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With me wife up front beside me and her mother in the back
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There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
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And her sister's Granny and four of her chums
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And Auntie Jean
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In a crowd of fifty trippers you can always pick me oot
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By my Don't blame me, I voted Tory sticker on the boot
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Wi' my bunch of heather stickin' in ma radiator grille
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And me stick-on transfer bullet holes and licence for tae kill
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There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
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And her sister's Granny and four of her chums
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And Auntie Peg
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I've a hundred plastic pennants for to tell you where I've been
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And my steering wheel is clad in simulated leopard-skin
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Up front fae the drivin' mirror hangs a plastic skeleton
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And in the back a dog wi' eyes that flicker off and on!
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There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
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And her sister's Granny and four of her chums
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And Auntie May
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I always drive as though my foot was restin' on the brake
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And I weave aboot the road just so's ye cannae overtake
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I can get ye sae frustrated that ye'll finish up in tears
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And the sound of blarin' motor horns is music to my ears!
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There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
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And her sister's Granny and four of her chums
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And Auntie Liz
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Now if ye wonder how these weekly trips I can afford
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It's because I'm on a stipend from the Scottish Tourist Board
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You're supposed tae enjoy the scenery, the finest of it's kind
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And that is why I have a convoy followin' behind!
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There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
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And her sister's Granny and four of her chums
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And Auntie Rose
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There's just no way of escaping me, no matter how ye seek
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For the simple fact that I'm a traffic warden through the week
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I'm boostin' my efficiency, and here's my master plan
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I'm savin' up my pennies for to buy a Caravan
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There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
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And her sister's Granny and four of her chums
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And Auntie Gertrude
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There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
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And her sister's Granny and four of her chums
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Yer gaun too fast
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