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Nobody Makes A Pass At Me
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Barbra Streisand
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Performed by Barbra Streisand
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I want men that I can squeeze, that I can please, that I can tease
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Two or three or four or more!
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What are those fools waiting for?
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I want love and I want kissing I want more of what I'm missing
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Nobody comes knocking at my front door
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What do they think my knocker's for?
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If they don't come soon there won't be any more!
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What can the matter be?
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I wash my clothes with Lux, my etiquette's the best,
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I spend my hard-earned bucks on just what the ads suggest
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Oh Dear what can the matter be
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Nobody makes a pass at me!
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I'm full of Kellogg's bran, eat grapenuts on the sly,
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A date is on the can of coffee that I buy
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Oh dear, what can the matter be?
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Nobody makes a pass at me!
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Oh Beatrice Fair-fax, give me the bare facts,
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How do you make them fall?
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If you don't save me, the things the Lord gave me
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never will be any use to me at all.
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I sprinkle on a dash of "Fragrance de Amour,"
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The ads say "Makes Men Rash" but I guess their smell is pour
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Oh dear what can the matter be
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Nobody makes a pass at me.
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I use Ovaltine and Listerine, Barbasol and Musterole
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Life Buoy soap and Flit, So why ain't I got it?
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I use Coca Cola and Marmola, Crisco, Lesco and Mazola,
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Ex-lax and Vapex, So why ain't I got sex?
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I use Albolene and Maybellene, Alka Seltzer, Bromo Seltzer,
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Odorono and Sensation
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So why ain't I got fascination?
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My Girdles come from the Best, Times ads say they're chick
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And up above I'm dressed in the brassier of the week
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Oh dear, what can the matter be?
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Nobody makes a pass at me!
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I use Pond's on my skin, with rye-crisp I have thinned
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I get my culture in I began "Gone with The Wind"
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Oh dear, what can the matter be?
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Nobody makes a pass at me!
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Oh Dor'thy Dix, please, show me some tricks,
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please, I want some men to hold
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I want attention and things I can't mention
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and I want them all before I get too old
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I use Mum ev'ry day and Angelus Liplure,
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But still men stay away just like Iv'ry soap I'm pure
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Just like I result of 99 and 44
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One hundred percent P.O.
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Oh dear what can the matter be?
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Nobody makes a pass at me
Who Can I Turn To (When Nobody Needs Me)...
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