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Smooth Grandmamma
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ApologetiX
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1
As he came up to the window, heard the sound of, Barry Manilow
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He came into her apartment, smelled the Ben Gay, and the chocolate
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She was sitting at the table, he could see she, had a Bible
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Then she ran into the bedroom, got her teeth down, and her perfume
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Granny, are you OK, you OK, you OK, Granny? (4X)
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Granny's not an old maid, She's a zealot, with a bold faith
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She's a kind-hearted widow, and she bought you, a Nintendo, last week
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You came into her apartment, left the mud stains, on the carpet
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And then she ran into the bedroom, she was knelt down, it was for you
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Granny likes to crochet, and croquet, and quote Dear Abby
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Granny causes road rage, in slow lanes, she's no Andretti
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Granny's got the whole day, to go pray, for all her family
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You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth grandmamma
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she came into the hallway, it was Sunday, had a snack made
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Then the book of Revelation, was the topic, of conversation
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Granny says you know babe, the Lord say, in verse 3:20
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He's standing at the doorway, so don't waste, a moment honey
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And you gotta go pray, or else babe, you won't gain entry
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Then you told her OK, I want saved, I'll go pray Granny
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Granny told you OK, first you tell Him, that you're sorry
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Believe He died or your sins though
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And accept, Him and repento -- Whammy!
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He came into your heart then, you were prostrate, on the carpet
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Then she ran you to the next room
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You were sat down, there was more food
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Granny karaokes, to old tapes, of Sandi Patty
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You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth grandmama
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(BRIDGE)
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Granny had a roast made, and potatoes, that were homemade
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And she buys Poppin' Fresh Dough
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So she baked you, some crescent rolls, lets eat!
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You came into her apartment, and the blessings, only started
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And then your Granny took and fed you
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You were stuffed now; it was her food
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Granny brought you cold grapes, and poached eggs, and bowls of candy
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Granny brought you milkshakes, and fruitcake, keep Rolaids handy
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Granny's artichokes make, your throat gag, so don't take any
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And before you go babe, you must take, a roast beef sandwich
ApologetiX - Smooth Grandmama (parody of...
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