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The Dating Game
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ICP (Insane Clown Posse)
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Host:
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Lets meet contestant number 1, he's a schizophrenic serial killer clown who says; 'women love his sexy smile'. Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon. Sharon, what's your question?
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Sharon:
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Contestant #1, I believe first impressions last forever. So lets
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say you were to come over to my parent's house and have dinner with me and my family, tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stick.
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Contestant #1:
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Lets see..hm.. well, I'd have to think about it.
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I might show up in a tux HA but I doubt it.
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I'd probably just show up naked like I always do,
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and look your mama in the eye and tell her fuck you!
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Hurry up bitch I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti,
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I'd pinch her limpy ass and tell her 'get the food ready!'
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Your dad would probably start trippin' and get me pissed,
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I'd have to walk up and BUST him in his fuckin' LIPS.
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It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother
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I'd pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother.
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I'm steady starin' at your sister, I'll tell you this,
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you know for only 13 she got some big tits!
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After that, your dad would try to jump again,
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and only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin.
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After your mom does the dishes and the silverware,
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I'd dry fuck her till I nut in my underwear.
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(applause and laughter)
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Host:
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Now lets meet Contestant number two. He's a psychopathic deranged crackhead freak who works for the dark carnival. He says women call him stretch nuts. Sharon let's hear your question.
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Sharon:
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I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions, a man who
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expresses himself in his own special way. Number two, if you fell in love with me, exactly how would you let me know?
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Contestant #2:
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First thing, I could never love you.
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You sound like ritchy bitch yo' Fuck You!
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but if I did, I'd probably show you that I care
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by takin' all these other motherfuckers outta here.
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I'd go through your phone book and whack 'em all,
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and find Contestant number one and break his fuckin' jaw (what!?).
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Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay.
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I'd be blowin' fuckin' nuggets off all day.
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I'd grab your titties, and stretch 'em down past your waist,
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let 'em go and watch 'em both spring up in your face.
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I'd sing love songs to ya the best I can,
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get ya naked and hit it like a CAVE MAN!
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Then we go to the beach and walk through the sand
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I throw a little in your face and say I'm just playin'.
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as you spit it all out I rub your back
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and grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!
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(applause and laughter)
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Host:
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Well it sounds like Contestant number two is just overflowing with
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sensitivity Sharon. It's a tough choice so far. Sharon lets have your last
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question and see which one is gonna win the rights to your Neden.
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Sharon:
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OK, if we were at a dance club and you both noticed me at the same
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time, tell me, how would you each get my attention and what would your pick up line be? Remember, who ever's the smoothest wins!!
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C#1:
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OK, first, I'd slide up to the bar
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and tell you that I can't believe how fucking fat you are.
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I'd tell you that I like the way you make your titties shake
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and if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake!
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C#2:
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Fuck That! You'd be jackin' me quick.
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I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick,
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and then to get your attention in the crowded place,
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I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face.
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C#1:
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Yeah freak her with your nuts yeah that'll get her!
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C#2:
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Tell her that she's fat, YEAH that'll work even better!
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C#1:
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Look, FUCK YOU, I got a strong rap shit,
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you don't want Contestant number two, he's mad whack.
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I walked into a barn and there he was, standing up on a bucket
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*Laughs* tryin' to fuck it,
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it was a big, fucking, smelly ass farm LLAMA
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C#2:
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DAMN dawg! How you gonna dis your mama?!?!?!
The Neden Game
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