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Gwar
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1
In the fortress of gwar, much torment does remain
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Despite all of the bodies that had been hacked in twain
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So many had died in the viscous campaign
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That their femurs alone made a fine mountain
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The Master was no longer gwar's sovereign
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Of wealth and women they had none to gain
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What goal was left for them to attain
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So Oderus did call for conclave
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First came Balsac, his council was wise
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His War-Axe gleamed, he was a loyal knight
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Plus 40 dancing bears he did provide
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Then, first in prowess, he stood his lord beside
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Beefcake the Mighty, his ass was wide
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Brought 80 laden oxen, he was a good ally
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Jizmak the Gusha, his legion was described
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For many hours he barked at the tribe
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But then, timely, the catering arrived
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Booze, drugs, food, 400 hundred mule-loads high
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Flattus Maximus, this he did supply
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And now the mighty brothers of gwar did band
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They will to journey and slay without plan
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Bring sledge and terror to the cities of man
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Open Oberammergau
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Like hell was a womb, it tore
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And from the womb the creatures poured
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Troll, goblin, Manticore
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Siege machine and armored whore
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There will be battle like never before
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The Surface World learned of the malaise
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Black Pope, usurper, he saw through the veil
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They plan their defense in the land of the wasted
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Africa, bitter fruit she had tasted
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Ensign of industry, let it be raised
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There the camp of the Black Pope was placed
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His legions breath, through the valleys the raced
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Charlots they rode, and their skulls were iron-plated
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Belching fire, freshly painted
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8000 Battalions of Knights freshly sainted
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But before they fought, they were vaccinated
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To protect them from the aids that had been created
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To continue the reign of Black Pope unabated
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The people at home, got a version G-rated
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Here the gwar invaded
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Began the violation
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The War Barges, forecastles swarming
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Disgorging the troops, formations forming
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The low drone of the horning
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Sounding out a call, then a warning
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A nuclear salvo where gwar was encroaching
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Within a second 10 legions were toasting
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Balsac said, "Did you feel something?"
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The Lord was not boasting
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The enemy is vast, steel carpets the terrain
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Still they are forming, armors detrains
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They send forth a Captain, oj by name
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Flattus struck him in the brain
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Burst the helmet, made two parts of the mind
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Chopped through his gorget, through chest, into spine
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And the good captains blood flowed like wine
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Flattus said, "So ends a cowards time."
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Balsac is angry, he'll have no more
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He hurls his axe, with great effort
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To smite Regis with terrible force
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His shield breaks, his hauberk unsews
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The axe bursts through his chest and torso
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Bright blood spurts, the guts are loosed by the throw
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And with that axe the soul from body goes
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Said Jizmak, "That was a heavy blow."
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Beefcake the Mighty, clotted with spew
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His sword falls, skulls burst in two
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The eyes burst from sockets, he is not through
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Thousands of warriors he does this to
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Piling up the corpses of those he slew
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Until it was hard to tell if the pile grew
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Balsac said, "He is a princely lord"
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Said Beefcake, "Yes, it's true."
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Jizmak smites, his hammer whirls
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Foreheads explode, entrails twirl
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Breaking open brain-pans as well
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Red blood flowing as souls speed to hell
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Oderus smites the Black Pope, exposing his brain
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The blade continued through meat and membrane
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Bright blood flowed in the grass where he was lain
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Here ends this tale, that much is plain
GWAR - Sick Of You (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
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