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The Tarpit
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Gavin Castleton
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1
I should thank you for making me an authority on losing
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We're both addicts, you can't go a week without boozing
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And I can't go a week without getting impaled by some black tarpit heart dagger
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Giver of all battery acid aphrodisiac I inhaled
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You toss thoughts of me back with hard liquor
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My appeal now paper thin, it's not hard to figure me out
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Of the equation and leave me alone with the one who laughs loudest at my jokes
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And alone with this standoff grudge against the phone
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Knuckles scuffed down to bone
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I knew you stopped needing me
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But I couldn't believe you were leaving
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I couldn't see the transplant for the bleeding
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And I didn't think it was a surgery worth repeating
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If I could make you fall in love with yourself, I'd do it
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Pull up a lawn chair and watch your species end there
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In your own tarpit heart
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I see you're having lunch with corpses
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Painted question marks sit around your campfire lashes
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Easing all features to follow your Marco Polo nose
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All your parts are so easily coerced into any campaign
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Your face makes a slave out of you
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Brown hair falling about you like well-conditioned chains
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You play the role of painting when I'm angry
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A lost picture that diffuses spite from bruises you left
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Inanimate but still contaminating every mental sanctuary 'til every art form needs renovating
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And every self-examination becomes more necessary
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My grandpa's flannel shirts, the new anti-therapy
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If I could make you fall in love with yourself, I'd do it
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Pull up a lawn chair and watch your species end there
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In your own tarpit heart
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I think next time I'll leave a darker marker
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(One that takes at least two shots to wash it down)
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So you have to sneak into the club when I play your town
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And I can be sure you're breaking things because I'm not around
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Preparing the two words (you'll never say) in case I'm found
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My heart says that it's over
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My hands are moving on
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But the songs keep writing themselves
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It's like my consciousness is fighting my up-righting my health
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My ears can't hear you coming back
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My eyes don't want to be involved
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My tongue will burn like acid
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'Til the shape of you dissolves.
Coffeelocks by Gavin Castleton
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