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Cool Guy 5
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Adam Sandler
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1
-{Sean pulling up in his car to a hooker-
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GIRL #5:Hey, honey.
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SEAN:S'up baby?looking all smooth, standing on the corner at 3 in the morning and shit.You cold, baby?You want to use me as a blanket?
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GIRL #5:I'm just doing my thing.
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SEAN:Well, does doing your thing mean your tricky?'Cause I'd like to invest some of my hard earned money towards loving you, if you know what I getting at.
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GIRL #5:Well, how much you got, big man?
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SEAN:Well, I'm willing to drop 50 dollars on your ass, but there's a condition going on.
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GIRL #5:What's that?
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SEAN:You're going to have to put those lucious lips of yours on... my... slub-a-dub.
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GIRL #5:Ooh, I can do that.
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SEAN:You can?
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GIRL #5:Mm-hmm.
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SEAN:You mean, you ain't going make fun of the fact that I called my gizza-gazza a "slub-a-dub"?
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GIRL #5:Honey you can call your thing what ever you want to as long as you got 50 bucks.
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SEAN:oh sna-- well, alright then here's the 50 dollars,-{unzips pants- and here's my flip stick, now start wetting that thing up.
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GIRL #5:-{Opens his door- Sir, you are under arrest.
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-{police car pulls up-
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SEAN:You got to be fucking with mind here.
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GIRL #5:No, I'm not.
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COP:Good job denise.we'll take him from here.
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-{Cop hand cuffs Sean-
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SEAN:WHAT?!?! You going to arrest my ass for trying to get a ride on my slip '' slide?Fuck that shit.
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GIRL #5:Hey honey,when you get to jail, you're going to be on the other end of a slip '' slide, and I hope you enjoy yourself.
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SEAN:WWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT?!?!?!
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-{cop throws sean in back of police car-
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COP:Just get in the back, asshole.
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GIRL #5:-{from outside- You sick fuck.
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SEAN:Damn!!-{crying- This is a bunch of bullshit!!!
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PEEPER: Piss on me.-{also in the back of the police car-
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SEAN:WHAT?!
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PEEPER:Please, piss me.
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SEAN:NO!!!
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PEEPER:Just a tinkle.
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SEAN:Fuck that, keep him away from me.
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PEEPER:Urine.
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SEAN:Keep this man away from me.
Cool Guys Don't Look At Explosions
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