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The Real Slim Shady
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Various Artists
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1
May I have your attention, please
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May I have your attention, please
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Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
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I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
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We're gonna have a problem here
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Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
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Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
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And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
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They first were divorced, throwing her over furniture, aah
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It's the return of the, aww, wait, no wait, you're kidding
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He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?
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And Dr. Dre said, nothing, you idiots, Dr. Dre's dead
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He's locked in my basement
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Feminist women love Eminem
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Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady
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I'm sick of him, look at him walkin' around
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Grabbin' his you know what, flippin' to you know who
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Yeah, but he's so cute though
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Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
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But no worse than what's goin' on in your parent's bedroom
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But sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose
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But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
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My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
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And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
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And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
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And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
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Of course, they're gonna know what intercourse is
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By the time they hit fourth grade
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They got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
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We ain't nothin' but mammals, well, some of us cannibals
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Who cut other people open like antelopes
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But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
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Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
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But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
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Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
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I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
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Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
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You think I give a damn about a Grammy
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Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
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But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?
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Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here
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So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
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Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
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So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
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Hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
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Fuckin bitch, put me on blast on MTV
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Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee hee
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I should download her audio on MP3
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And show the world how you gave Eminem VD
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I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, All you do is annoy me
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So I have been sent here to destroy you
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And there's a million of us just like me
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Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
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Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
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And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
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I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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I'm like a head trip to listen to 'cause I'm only givin' you things
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You joke about with your friends inside you livin' room
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Only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll
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And I ain't gotta be false or sugar coated at all
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I just get on the mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
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I just shit it better than ninety percent of you rappers out there
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Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
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It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm thirty
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I'll be the only person in the nursing home, flirting
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Pinchin' nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with jergen's
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And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
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In every single person there's a Slim Shady lurkin'
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He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
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Or in the parking lot, circling, screamin', I don't give a fuck
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With his windows down and his system up
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So will the real Shady please stand up
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And put one of those fingers on each hand up
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And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
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And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
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I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
95
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
96
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
100
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
103
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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Now throw your hands in the air
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And wave it like you just don't care
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And if you don't give a, like we don't give a
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Let we now say, oh yeah, oh yeah
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Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
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Like that and you don't stop
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Like that and you don't, don't stop
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One, two, two, two, two, two, two
Eminem - The Real Slim Shady (Official V...
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