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Grave Situation Pt. 1
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The Burning Hell
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1
Well here's a little story about a woman that I knew.
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It's no allegory, I guarantee it's all quite true.
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So I expect you to believe me, though you won't believe your ears.
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Pay attention: listen up, though you may tremble with fear.
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You see this woman that I spoke of had a quarrel with her lover.
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It seems she had discovered he'd been sleeping with another
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and it was on this very spot in June of 1987
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fought and then he shot her and she died and went to heaven.
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Or at least that's what the priest said as he read the funeral rights
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but something strange was going on amongst the tombstones that night.
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Just when everybody thought her immortal soul was saved
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we were quite concerned to see that she had risen from the grave
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She said, "aloha, i'm back, I've got some business to do.
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I'll be back in my casket before the night is through,
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but first I'll pay a visit to a certain prison cell
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to see my cheating husband and send him straight to hell."
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We were speechless as she left us to find the fiend she'd married
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until someone said, "She's looking good for a girl that's just been married.
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But you know we ought to stop her. Should we call up the police?"
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I said, "She's the living dead. They can do as they please."
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Besides, she was heading straight for the station house herself,
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where her husband was awaiting trial in a holding cell.
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The sergeant was surprised to see a corpse walk through the door,
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but he said, "Sorry ma'am, visiting hours are 2:00 to 4:00."
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She laughed and said, "I'm dead and I don't have all day,
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so if you'd kindly stand aside and show me the way..."
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And the Sergeant said, "Okay then, he's in cell number six."
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"Besides," he thought, "I really don't get paid enough for this."
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He was sleeping on his cot when she came into the cell
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and ever since the murder he had not slept very well.
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When he opened up his eyes at first he thought it was a dream,
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but she began to speak before he had a chance to scream.
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"Aloha, I'm back, I've got some business to do.
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I'll be back in my casket before the night is through.
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But first I'll make you pay for your cheating and your lies
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so honey...prepare to die."
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Some say it was a heart attack, some say it was a stroke,
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and some will say the whole thing was invented just as a joke
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but I tell you it's a fact, it all happened right here.
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When he saw his undead wife he simply died of fear.
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"Aloha, I'm back, I've got some business to do.
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I'll be back in my casket before the night is through.
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But first I'll pay a visit to a certain prison cell
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and see my cheating husband and send him straight to hell."
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