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Vanilla
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Shel Silverstein
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1
Well now, it was a hot day in July;
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I had ice cream on my mind.
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I went up to the ice cream stand --
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I said, "Ooh, ooh, Mr. Ice Cream Man.
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"I want to start with a great big double dip
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Of a raspberry sherbet and a chocolate chip,
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A lemon ice, and on top of that
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I want a rocky road -- now hold on to your hat.
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"I want a blueberry boysenberry butter pecan.
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You tell me your pistachio's gone?
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I'm gonna take my betty and bop your boop."
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He said, "Hold on baby, I will give you the scoop."
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He said, "Vanilla, all we got's
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Vanil-la la-la lalalala, the whole world wants
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Vanil-la la-la lalalala, so that's what we're
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Sellin' now."
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"Uh, huh." But I said no and I trucked on down
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To the funkiest bar in the funk part of town.
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The sign on the door said, "Live Music Tonight".
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I said, "Ooh! All right!"
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"Let's start with a horn that sounds like Miles,
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A Lady Day singer singin' "God Bless the Child",
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A Charlie Parker type saxophone,
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Eubie Green on the slide trombone."
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"I want drums. You know I don't care which --
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Gimme Philly Joe Jones, or Buddy Rich.
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I want a bass that sounds just like Ray Brown's."
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He said, "Hold on baby, slow your tempo down."
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He said, "Vanilla, all we play is
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Vanil-la la-la lalalala, the whole world wants
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Vanil-la la-la lalalala, so that's what we're
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Sellin' now."
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And so with no ice cream and without no song,
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I walked the streets the whole night long
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Till I come upon a little miss flippety-flop
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I said, "Ooh baby! Come to pop!"
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I said, "I'll bring the booze baby, get the trapeze.
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I'll put on my snorkel, you get down on your knees.
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I'll bounce to the sky on your vibratin' bed
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While you throw Mallomars at my head."
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"I'm gonna dress you up in aluminum foil,
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Fill up the bathtub with Mazola oil.
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I'll bring the lash honey, you bring the hash."
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She says, "Hold on baby, all the freakies are past."
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She said, "Vanilla, all I do now is
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Vanil-la la-la lalalala, the whole world wants
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Vanil-la la-la lalalala, so that's what I'm
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Sellin' now."
Silverstein - My Heroine (Official Video...
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