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My Balls
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Ray William Johnson
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1
Girl, I know you left me,
2
But there was something I forgot to show you.
3
Baby girl, you left me. Oh no! We broke up.
4
It's been a while since we last spoke, but
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I need another chance. Can you give me that?
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'Cause there's something in my pants that'll win you back.
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I wanna be your man again,
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But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston.
9
And I know you said you'd never call,
10
But girl, you ain't seen my balls.
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You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls.
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(Repeat)
13
My balls are so awesome. Don't get me started.
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They're so damn big. How big are they?
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They're so big. It's really obnoxious.
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It's like two ewoks chillin' in my boxers.
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They're so big. I can't hold 'em back.
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Even Cartman's like, man those are fat.
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They're so big. They're run over your feet.
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That's why when they back up you hear a Beep Beep.
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And how can I be subtle,
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When my balls chase Indiana Jones through a tunnel?
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And everyone at Disney World keeps telling me
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That Epcot Center looks at 'em with jealousy.
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In fact, when you see 'em on the street they'll
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Fight Godzilla to the death in the sequel.
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I'm guessing soon you'll be hoping I'm back,
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'Cause my balls are so big they've got an opening act.
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You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls.
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(Repeat)
31
My balls are so epic, and I ain't boastin',
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But they have an effect on the tides in the ocean.
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And when the sun's right, it might cause
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A total solar eclipse of my balls.
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'Cause these things are where it's happenin',
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And when I whip 'em out you'll take me back again.
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Should I compare 'em to a brontosaurus?
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No, excuse me I'm on the chorus.
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I got what you need.
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And you'd said you'd never call,
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But girl you ain't seen these balls.
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I wanna be your man again,
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But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston.
44
And I know you said you'd never call,
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But girl, you ain't seen my balls.
46
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls.
47
(Repeat)
48
I told you you'd be back.
49
You must've forgot.
50
You must've had Ballzheimer's.
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