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Knot
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Mal Webb
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1
As you two view to tie the knot, let's cast our minds to hitches
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With binding lines in swinging reels, you may wind up in stitches
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Now any able seaman, leading scout and social climber
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Could tell you what's the knot that's got the lot, but here's a primer
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A Sheet Bend's good in bed, despite discrepancy of rope
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Tonight you might unite and quite dyslexicly, I'd hope
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A Reef Knot leaves you on the rocks and in a bind you'll be
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You'll take a dive, you'll get the bends, washed up and all at sea
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A Sheepshank only shortens things, but dinner might be roast
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A Clove hitch adds some spice, but only ties onto a post
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Please be afraid not as your close knit family lines entwine
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Some snarls and twists are normal when they wind up on the wine
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A Truckie's Hitch pulls 2 to 1, could tie you down real tight
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A Butterfly loop loop's the bight when there's no end in sight
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Round Turn and 2 half hitches has a bigamous repute
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A fly bi guy with double brides and Double Bows to boot
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Now Figure 8s and Bowlines only tie rope to itself
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You'll find one liners of this kind get left upon the shelf
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A knot you can't undo won't do, so tangled webs beware
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Reply your twines from time to time, repair the wear and tear
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A nerdy knot nut might like Zeppelin or Ashley bends
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Or delve the depths of string/knot theory maths to meet their ends
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True Lover's knot sounds negative, a slipknot's bound to flop
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A Noose and Jug Sling should hang out with friends who like a drop
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A Whatknot is a Backward Granny, simple, sweet and strong
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But comes to Grief and falls apart if tied just slightly wrong
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So now it's up to you to choose the best and lose the worst
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In love's three legged human race you're bound to tie for first
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