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Alix Olson
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"Welcome to the stick world,"
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mama whispers to her newborn baby girl.
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She admires the little toes, wriggling
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like plump pink ballerinas,
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caresses the round belly,
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places her palm under the fat behind,
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envelops the chunky thighs.
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She strokes the tiny flat breasts.
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the Baby girl sighs
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and mama begins her stick world lesson,
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hushed and intent:
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"We stick baby boys' lips on our nipples-
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to relieve them,
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stick big boys inside our lips-
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to relieve them,
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suck until we swallow their stickiness.
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We tell our sons "˜only sticks and stones
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will break their bones,'
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then call each other bitch, knowing it sticks
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more than hurled knuckles ever could.
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We are ignored when our butts stick out,
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admired when our chests stick out.
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We chant "˜stick together, stick together', until
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size six bitch walks by-
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"˜sick', we whisper, menacingly, to each other,
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"˜Stick', we think, admiringly, to ourselves.
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We smoke cancer sticks, chew on
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spearmint sticks, chomp on
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carrot sticks, celery sticks.
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We crave stick-out collarbones, ribs-
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When we cave in, stomachs sticking out,
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we stick our fingers down our throats.
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Fingernails caked underneath with years of
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lipsticks, eyebrow sticks, sticks to cover up
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red spots, white spots, black spots.
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As we stick to the advice in magazines-
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page one: waif, page two: "˜be you', they croon
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page three: "˜I like a good listener',
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writes Joe from Rochester.
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So we smile and nod, sticky sweet.
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And stick jewel after jewel in our ear, so we
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swish and sway pleasantly when we turn our heads
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to hear what they have to say.
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We stick on eyelashes,
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lower our eyes in their direction-
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suggestive eyes, bedroom eyes, "˜she wanted it' eyes.
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So they stick it in, stick it out-
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When we protest,
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we are stuck up, a stick in the mud.
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We stick our fingers when we sew up
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our children's ripped jeans,
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our husbands' ripped egos.
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We pat stick-it notes on the fridge,
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reminding our sons of baseball practice,
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reminding our daughters to
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stick to their diets.
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We ooo and aahh over Suzy's stick figure scene,
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the last in a series of self-portraits.
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And if we are the kind, honey,
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who like to stick up into each other,
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we stick out-- warped Eves.
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And even with our combat boots we crumble like pick-up
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sticks sometimes, away from each other, and crooked."
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Mama wipes her eyes, mascara marring
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her Oil of Olay face.
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She lifts her daughter's mouth to her nipple,
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rubs the padded back,
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peers into the clear eyes-
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so satisfied, belly full.
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""˜I don't want you sticking flowers
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on my grave, baby girl,'"
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mama says,
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"˜with the weight of the world
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on your stick shoulders.
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Crying,
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and not ever knowing why.'"
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