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Good ol' David Letterman
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Adam Sandler
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There simply is no better man
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Than good ol' David Letterman
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And no one gets Julia Roberts' face redder than
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A flirty David Letterman
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He's leaving after 30 years
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And you know he will be missed
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If you like gapped-toothed men in double-breasted suits
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He's number one on your top-ten list
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He won't have to pick up the phone anymore
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When Les Moonves calls him up
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He might have to take Jay Leno out for coffee
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Then secretly pee in his cup
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There's certainly no better man
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Than good ol' David Letterman
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And no one makes my mother wetter than
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David Letterman
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(Okay Mom, I told him, I hope you're happy)
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Seems like yesterday when I was 14
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And you looked like a freshman at Ball State
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Now your hairpiece is full of grey
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And I'm fucking 48
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I can't believe at night when I'm watching Stephen Colbert
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You'll be tucked in the bed under the sheets
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Pets with stupid tricks will have no place to go
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While Paul Schafer and the band sell crack on the streets
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There simply is no better man
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Than our hero David Letterman
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I can't thank you enough for all you've done
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And I'm sure I ain't the only one
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"˜Cause you paved for every late night show
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Both Jimmys should get on their knees and blow
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(You kisses, you kisses)
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No more interviewing Heidi Klum or Cheryl Tiegs
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Now you're just the oldest dad at little league
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And when you say goodbye and take your final drive
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In your Ferrari full of stolen office supplies
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And we watch you go with eyes full of tears
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I hope the cops pull you over and drag you back over for 30 more years
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"˜Cause you're the king of comedy
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Our best friend on TV
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And I'll miss you
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Yeah buddy I'll miss you
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The whole world's gonna miss you
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David Letterman
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