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Bad Habits
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Funkoars
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1
Alright people, we're going to talk about bad habits
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I used to have a bad habit
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When I had a yeast infection where I scratched it continually
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First person I want to talk about their bad habits
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Is you Headlock, what have you got to say?
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A lot of people are like "Headlock's got issues"
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Fuck that - I got a subscription and a full box of tissues
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I'm not a character, I play one in my imagination
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And before shaking hand you might want to consider vaccination
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Yeah I'm that dude who's in elevators arguing with himself
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Because I don't have time to talk to anyone else
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Any chick who sits down next to me when I'm drinking at bars
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I cough in her face and tell her I think I have SARS
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Bi-polar, eye disorder, talk so (shutup)
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Talk words without incident sincere {unclear rabble}
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But that comes and goes, sort of like me
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I don't love you hoes so I jerk off then I leave
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You don't know bad habits 'til you've lived like me
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Walk a mile in my shoes, they suck and I want your Nike's
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I guess the worst thing I do when I'm guesting on tracks
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I scream HEADLOCK for a cut and make the rest of it whack
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Alright, I'm going to get myself a cut
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Mr Suttersutter!
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It's the Aussie sex symbol, you better ask your mother
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I'm like hip hop's version of that dude Dieter Brummer
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I've got a slight habit, girls call me vain
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Cause my brain's a one-track mind made up of my face
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There's no complaints, ladies know that I'm good
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And women faint when they check the size of the manhood
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Like "What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man! Say it again now"
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My sex style is tight like Liv Tyler
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Quite the pimp type of guy to kiss like a
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Exact replica of Gene Simmons
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These teach the women cop the breaststroke like I was swimming
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I sorta lie like the chicks that I say that I lay
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On their backs on a day to day base
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But honestly, I couldn't set a pulse on fire
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So signing off, Mr Trials: compulsive liar
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Don't be so hard on yourself, you're a strapping young liar
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Pressure, what do you have to say?
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I get so drunk I fall flat, landing hard on my chin
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Crack a retarded grin, my eyes get misglazed, looking far from akin
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To attain drunk, my thoughts are a fumble
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I try to talk but I mumble, try to walk but I stumble
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And when my mind gets as dirty as a pint of Coopers
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I delve down for a few rounds of pocket snooker
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I like hogging loogers, picking plaque from my teeth
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Scratching my arse, farting, and long walks on the beach
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So how about it girls - I'm an eligible bachelor
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Some guys will buy you flowers - I'm going to get drunk and rap for you
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Then stagger to the closest quarter, open my drawers
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Then spew before you claim he was a closed talker
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See I got habits as bad like faggots that drag
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Make your stomach churn like retards having a shag
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Man, my rapping is sad (no doubt!)
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And when I was at your house
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I picked my nose and wiped it under your couch
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I hope that wasn't my couch, it was made by Pakistani Seventh-day Adventists!
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I wish it was a bad habit, it's an epidemic
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I'm legging it for paramedics when given the seditive
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You see I wish I could settle it but my best bet to get it severed from my neck
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Then I would get respected
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But then I guess I'll just take a breather and beat up the weak and feeble for evil
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Believing they could defeat me
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I'd only take them on if they were smaller, with my mates and he's?
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So I don't take drugs, I just use them as mics
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Used to act the way that I be so disregard what I say to you
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My mind's fucked up, corrupted
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My shirt's tucked only when my butt's sucked in, it must be the gluttony
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From Monday to Sunday, I wanna go out like Pun so catch me at the buffet
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You see these hairy palms? They don't mean no harm
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In need of an eating companion cause I'm sick of my left arm
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Sesta if you're hungry I'll have Marco prepare you a trifle
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I only smoke a pack on a good night
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On a bad night I smoke two packs like Suge Knight
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Then when Saturday comes it feels like a chimney just shattered my lungs
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Fuck your patches and gums
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They call me Goldfinger, you should see
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I got the illist hands from puffing on the 12 milligrams
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Goldfinger, my stare man it looks like a bin, stirring a curry with my bare hands
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And my breath gets funky, I know hun
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But if you don't like this in a smoker, then just blow one
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I smoke to the butt, I choke 'til it's done
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I dope smoker's toke it right down to their thumb
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And if I could quit, shit
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I could save the dollars to get my lungs flushed by a Mexican doctor
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(Achh he no speak English!) and he's completely incompetent
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And doing a procedure that's band on six continents, bring out your dumb
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Bring out your dumb!? I'll bring out a can of whoop-ass on you
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You shouldn't put people down
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Anyways, it's been a really good session everyone
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You're very clever people
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Hopefully now you've got that out of your system you can address your problems
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"Doing your crib... break a sample like a bad habit"
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"Bad habit"
Ed Sheeran - Bad Habits [Official Video]
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