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Who Stole My Car?
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DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince
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1
Now a joke is a joke and funny games are chill
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But this isn't funny y'all this is straight up ill
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Now there's a limit to humor and this is goin too far
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I ain't laughin no more y'all now who stole my car
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Now I don't know if you ever had a car stolen before
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But it's a real crazy feeling when you walk out the door
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And you don't need a map or any kinda chart
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To know you're standin in the spot your car used to be parked
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Now you know you parked your car there but yet you keep lookin
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Cause your mind didn't accept yet that somebody took it
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So you're scratching your head and tryin to get things clear
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And it's always some idiot saying (you're sure you parked here)
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To call the police would be the move that is smart
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But instead you keep lookin where you know you didn't park
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Searchin for reasons like maybe tickets you owed
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Something to justify that - maybe it got towed
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But not stolen -never forget it
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But then you ask yourself well where the hell is it
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If there was a prize you'd win dummy of the year
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Cause you're lookin somewhere else when you know you parked it here
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So through never-neverland you find yourself strollin
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Then when you finally accept that it's stolen
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You call the police and they come and say
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(That's the 437th car stolen today)
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As if that's somethin that he really needed to mention
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Then they start askin you real dumb questions
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Like (well when's the last time that you saw it)
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You idiot, right before they stole it
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Now you're mad this cop is talkin to you
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And somebody in your car headed to kalamazoo
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Officer Fool or whoever you are
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Would you please get off your butt and find who stole my car?
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I remember my first car, never forget it
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A candy apple red I ROC, windows deep tinted
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Talk about fast like a rocket to drive
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Went from zero to 60 in like 5.5
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Imagine red rims but that wasn't enough
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It had a car phone for when I wanted to reach out and touch
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An alpine stereo the straight up rock
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With 12" woofers you could hear for blocks
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The first day I got it I was frontin real hard
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I could hear people sayin (damn, look at that car)
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I was hyped and I wanted my friends to check it out
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So I went to the spot where they're usually hangin out
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Just my luck nobody's standin outside
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And I didn't really feel like parkin my ride
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So I honked my horn and nobody was comin
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I thougth what the heck, I went inside and left it runnin
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I was inside for 20 seconds that's all
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I found my friends, I said, "You gotta check this out, y'all"
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But when we came back out the car wasn't there
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(Man you ain't buy nothin) I did, I swear!
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My friends went inside, I was mad they didn't believe me
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Now i'm standin outside the spot my car used to be
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It's hard to figure out what to do all alone
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But then I got it: call the car phone
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(Fresh Prince's car?)
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Yo thief, bring my car back now
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Before I bust your (hold up wait a minute pal)
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(Seems like you forgot who's got the keys)
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I thought: he's right, "Well, bring it back, please"
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Hello Mr. Thief, don't hang up
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Aw then luckily Jeff pulled up
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I told him what had happened someone stole my car
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I said, "Come on Jeff, let's get him, he can't be far"
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We rode around for about 20 minutes
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And we were just about to say forget it
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When I spotted him, I said, "Jeff, go get it!"
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We pulled up behind him and man dude jetted
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He was drivin all wild and fast
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Like he was gettin points for the stuff that he crashed
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I called him on the car phone again and I said
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Of course you realize when I catch you you're dead
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All through Philly was a high speed chase and
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Dude was playin around like he thought we was racin
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100 miles an hour and he lost control
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And slammed my car into a telephone pole
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I ran to the car said man you're okay
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He said yeah so I punched him in the face
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The cops came up as if it was my fault
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They saw me punch dude and charged me with assault
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If his neck was closer I probably woulda grabbed it
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He told the cops that I said he could have it
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I calmed down and they got things straight
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I saw half my car at 7th street the other half at 8th
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I wanted to just jump in the ocean
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My car looked like it was a Lego explosion
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Why does life have to be so hard?
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Don't laugh, next time it could be your car
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Summe...
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