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CORNET MAN
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Barbra Streisand
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1
Fanny convinces Eddie she has talent and he agrees to teach her the specialty
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for the next audition. She gets the job.
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FANNY:
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Well--
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I just put the kids to sleep
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And swept the shack,
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Took my sweet man's satchel down
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And watched him pack,
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I said, "Darlin', while the stove still smolders,
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Unpin your woman's hair and rub her shoulders."
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I threw myself across the doorway
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Beggin', "Stay, sweet man, stay,"
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But there's more in my man's life
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Than this old hag.
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It's Jelly Roll Morton, and a shiny cornet,
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And jazzin' the rag!
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The lady ain't been born
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Can take the place of a horn,
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With a cornet man.
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A-goin' where there's blowin',
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Trav'lin' cornet man.
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Just anytime they call him
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He'll leave his wife and kiddies
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Sittin' with their tongues out
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To play for peanuts in a dive
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And blow his lungs out.
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He'll hop a choo-choo on a moment's notice
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To play some dates with Billy Bates
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Or Rag-time Otis!
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The lady ain't see light
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Can give a horn a fair fight
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With a cornet man
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A rootin', shootin', ever-tootin' Dapper Dan
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Who carries in his satchel
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A powder-blue Norfolk suit,
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A silver-plated wah-wah mute,
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There is whiskey, gamblin'--each one is a curse,
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But I'm up against a devil that's worse.
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Yes, a horn is my thorn,
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My trav'lin' cornet man!
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Kill yourself! Tell me about it! Yeah! Yeah!
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A powder-blue Norfolk suit,
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I said a silver-plated wah-wah mute,
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Oh he's shy on height,
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He's short on weight,
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But he's the only man can make my coffee perculate,
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A Dapper Dan,
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My cornet-playin' man.
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After the performance, Nick Arnstein comes backstage, elegant in formal dress,
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to pay off a gambling debt to Keeney. Nick has seen the show and tells Fanny
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she's going to be a big star some day. Fanny asks how much Keeney is paying her,
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and Nick manages to jack up her salary by pretending to bid on behalf of a competitor.
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He gives her his card and kisses her hand. Eddie asks Fanny out for a date,
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but she only wants to be friends; already she has fallen for Nick, but imagines she'll
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never see him again.
“My Man” from Funny Girl (1968)
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