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I'm Sorry
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360
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1
I should be dead maybe I got nine lives?
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Seven left cos I've already died twice
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I'm glad it wasn't bye-bye Because
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its my time to do it without the high-life
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what I'm making is really dope
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but i needa talk about some shit that
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happened a year ago hold up
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let me clear my throat yo im about to get deep
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but i really hope you feel it though.
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See talking about it hurts it's when
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I was an addict but i was at my worst
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No-one knew I didn't tell one person
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couldn't bring myself to do it cos i felt like a burden.
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Give me any drug I was chewing em up
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if I have nine lives then I'm using em up.
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No-one knew my addiction it was stupid as fuck
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90 pills daily of nurofen plus
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I know that's extreme and i should be dead right
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but i was so fucked up
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my tolerance was that high
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that's the thing with the codeine addiction it's over the counter so you don't need prescriptions
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That's three packets in a day
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I didnt get high but i would have
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em anyway because if I didn't take em then
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I would be hitting withdraws and guess what?
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All of this was mid-tour
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and i cant play in this form
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having shit thoughts like i got nothing to live for
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I was a zombie i couldnt feel nothing
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I smashed four packets
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cos i just wanted to feel something
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yo I overdosed fo'sure I was at the
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venue i was going to preform
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I can't remember see I was told in the report
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my tour manager found me convulsing on the floor everyone surrounding no one knowing what its for
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literally no one knew I was going through it all
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I fucked up I should be knowing this before I'm a fucking junkie how am I going on a tour?
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I let down my fans and i owe it to them all
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that's why I'm being honest and
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so open with it all it's so hard
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not knowing what is wrong
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I can't talk about it so I wrote it in this song
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woke up in hospital going through withdraws
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someone guarding my bed but nobody would talk
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no phone there nobody to call
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saying what the fuck is going on
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and no one would inform me
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And I'm not knowing what's it's for tubes everywhere if only I could walk
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a man approaches am I alright doc?
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Then he tells me I'm on suicide watch
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I'm a danger to myself I wouldn't believe him
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I didn't try kill myself but they wouldn't believe me
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I spent a month in a hospital bed
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living in a nightmare and
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i just want it to end
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I'm thinking to myself have I got any friends?
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Or friends who don't use have I got any left?
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There's many times where I would want to be dead
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but we've lost too many and I don't want to be next
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now im happy I got me some rest
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I know fo'sure now i don't want it again
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the harder I hit the gym then the stronger I get
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the more the devil on my shoulder
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hasn't got any strength
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I let my fans and my family down
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the people standing by me are like family now
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yo im sorry to anyone who's a fan of me
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I understand if you wanted to abandon me
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But if it wasn't for my family
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I Woulda tied the knot on the
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rope the devil handed me.
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I gotta show ma 'father and my mum love
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and let em know that
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it's not them that fucked up
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now you got a quality son
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if i say im gonna do it
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then the job will get done
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I embrace any pain now im not gonna run
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the gyms a new addiction but a positive one
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the battle with addiction it's a battle on its own
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the worst part is I try battle it alone
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so if your hearing this and your battling at home
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tell somebody because your family should know!
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I'm loving life now I'm getting it back
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if I can do this shit fucking anyone can
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can't remember cos I blacked out
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but I wouldn't change a thing cos it
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made me who I am now
Charli xcx - 360 (official video)
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